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something different

there was something different about my best friend tonight.

he kept his arm around my shoulders, like always, and he was smiling, like always.

he had said, “you look great,” earlier, like always, whether i was getting ready to go out or was about to spend the whole day in my ratty t-shirts.

he teased me, like always, about how i’d kept my groundhog-colored hair when we were eight years old.

he let me lean on his shoulder, like always, while i talked to him about Kurt.

he thought i couldn’t see the twinge of jealousy in his eyes.

he lent me his handkerchief, like always, during the goodbye scenes of the movie, while mock-sighing and muttering about how i should get myself some gal pals.

“i’ve already got you, haven’t i?” i asked, and he laughed.

i had always wondered why his girlfriends hated me,and vice versa. he had always wondered why my boyfriends always hated him. there was something different about my best friend.

i thought tonight, we would finally get some answers.

he drove me home, like always, and i stayed in my seat, like always.

he opened my door and walked me to the front porch, like always.

he leaned in closer, and i closed my eyes. i thought something different would happen.

instead, i felt him kiss my forehead, like always, say goodnight, and smile, like always, except his smile seemed a little bit broken.

i smiled back and waved goodbye, like always, but my heart seemed a little bit broken.

there had been something different about us tonight, and there will forever be.